Getting married at St Mary’s
We are really delighted that you are thinking about getting married in church and have come to St Michael’s. This information has been produced to help you with your planning and to complete all the necessary arrangements.
Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13.4-7
You can be married in St Mary’s if:
- You currently live in the parish
- You have, at any time, lived in the parish for at least 6 months
- You have been a regular member of the church for at least 6 months;
- You were baptised in the parish.
- Your confirmation was registered here
- You have a parent that has at any time during your lifetime lived in the parish for at least 6 months
- You have a parent that has at any time during your lifetime been a regular member of the church for at least six months or
- You have a parent or grandparent that was married in the parish.
Booking the day
You can be married on any day except Sundays and public holidays. Simply e-mail, phone or write to the church administrator, who will then send you an application form.
Your wedding is not formally booked until you return the application form duly signed by both of you and it has all been agreed. We cannot say at this stage who will be conducting the service.
The legal preliminary for a wedding service in church is normally the publication of something called ‘banns’, over three consecutive Sundays in the parish church or churches where you both live. Basically this means that we read out your names in our main service to make sure that there are no legal reasons for you not to be married.
If you both live in our parish, then your banns are simply called here, at St Mary’s. However, if one of you lives outside our parish, then you need to arrange for your banns to be called in the parish church where you live. You must do this at least four weeks before you are married: six months would be safer!
Once your banns are called, the vicar or rector there will provide you with a certificate, which will be needed for the service. If you are on the Electoral Roll of a parish other than where you live, you still need to arrange for the banns to be called in your resident parish.
For more information and a breakdown of costs check out the Church of England Wedding website
ORDER OF SERVICE
We use the marriage service from Common Worship, unless you specifically request otherwise. You can access this on www.cofe.anglican.org/commonworship and we have outlined a normal service below.
Are you having a special leaflet printed? Or will you use our hymn books? If you are having your Order of Service printed privately, please send a draft to the Vicar in good time. For the service you will need to choose some hymns, normally two or three. Again the Vicar may help you choose hymns that are suitable for the occasion.
You also need to decide which music will be played at other points during the service.
You may wish to ask a friend to read the lessons from the Bible, which you yourself may choose from these passages:
- Romans 12.1,2,9-13
- Romans 15.1-3,5-7,13
- 1 Corinthians 13
- Ephesians 3.14-end
- Ephesians 4.1-6
- Ephesians 5.21-end
- Philippians 4.4-9
- Colossians 3.12-171
- John 3.18-end
- 1 John 4.7-12
- Matthew 7.21,24-end
- Mark 10.6-9,13-16
- John 2.1-11
- John 15.1-8
- John 15.9-17
Here is a typical outline of a Wedding service:
N, will you take N to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live? He answers: I will.
N, will you take N to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live? She answers: I will.
I, N, take you, N, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.
I, N, take you, N, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow.
The Giving of Rings
N, I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you, all that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you, within the love of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
The Blessing of the Marriage
Registration of the Marriage
There are always flowers in church but you may wish to add some of your own. You may remove any of your own display of flowers in church for the reception, except those on the Communion table.
Marriage is a very serious step and we would like to do all we can to help you prepare for a lifelong, happy marriage. We therefore aim to see each couple separately to talk about what it means to be married, normally three months before the wedding itself. Please phone the Rector to arrange this meeting. We also invite all couples to a special wedding preparation morning where we go through some practicalities and also talk about how to make marriage the best it can be. Most couples also have a simple rehearsal the evening before the wedding.
These are revised annually in January. It costs between £600 to £700 to be married in church depending on extras like bells etc.
We are very happy for you to have a photographer/video operator at the service to record the happy occasion but please note: They must be unobtrusive as we don’t want anything to distract from the marriage itself; No flash photography or additional artificial lighting is allowed during the service; There is a video copyright fee
If it is raining, we are happy for you to spend half an hour in church taking photographs after the service.
We wish you every happiness in your life together and pray that God will bless you both in the years ahead. If there is anything we can do to help, either now or in the future, please contact us.